Finn The Farmer
by TheForgottenAdventures
Summary: Finn has abandoned his old lifestyle to take up a new one in hopes of finding his true calling as a farmer and... a father. How will Finn's friends respond to this sudden decision and will Finn be able to revert back to his old lifestyle peacefully? Oneshot quick read strong hints of FinnxPB a return to story telling for Forgotten Adventures that we hope you enjoy. Thanks!


Finn grabbed the large tin can and filled it with some water from the nearby pond. Brown water was Herbert's favorite. Frogs licked at his ankles as he bent down to fill the can and took a sip for himself. The bugs moved from his vision as he dipped his head into the murky depths and watched the tiny fish swim from side to side.

As he picked his head from the water he felt his neck burn with a raging fire, he slapped at his neck and felt a fly go limp.

"Dirty dirty, clean yourself up little guy."

Finn placed the squashed bug into his other hand, taking care of an already dead bug. "Dirty dirty…" He whispered to himself as he placed the fly into the water only to watch a frog take it from his hand.

"Come now Finn, you mustn't keep Herbert waiting" the frog whispered "He requires adequate sustenance to survive, you'd be a terrible father to kill him in such a vulnerable state…"

Finn nodded in agreement and stood up. He took a long breath in and felt the light breeze grasp at his freely flowing hair. He bent down to all four limbs and began a wobbled sprint towards his new friend.

As he came upon a brightly colored orange hutt Finn got back to his feet, clasping the tin can tightly making sure not to lose any water. He walked around to the back side where long rows of elevated mounds of soil lay. The dirt was a light brown, dry and void of any plants.

Finn ran to the very back of the rows where he found his friend. "Hello Herbert" he whispered in an excited tone "I've brought you your liquids."

Sitting before him was a small plant, the leaves were edged and seemed jagged, the stems of the leaves were a purplish color. Herbert was no bigger than Finn's hand.

"Ah, Finndango. I am glad to see my friend here once more. Please shower me in Glob's gift boy, so that I may live an eternal life of lavish wet love."

Finn did as Herbert commanded, taking the tin and pouring the dark water over his friend. Herbert pulsated with pleasure and began to grow slightly.

"Slowly but surely Herbert, pretty soon you'll be the biggest plant in the field." Finn giggled to himself as the flies buzzed behind him.

"Finndango, you are a good child. Once I grow tall I will bathe you in gifts my boy, this I swear to you."

Finn smiled with glee, "You make me a happy farmer Herbert, let me fetch your favorite comb!"

Finn stood up and ran to the old shack, the paint peeled off, revealing the age that lay beneath. As Finn approached the shack he wondered at the thought of Herbert's growing, how he grew so fast and strong. He'd be there when Herbert finally took over the field and would begin to run it himself.

He placed his hand on the door of the shed, losing sight of Herbert now. As he pushed it open his smile turned to a frown as he saw his once good friend Jake huddled in the shed's corner. His yellow fur was astray and dirty, his snout covered in spittle and snot.

"Hello there Jake"

Jake's head swiveled and looked at Finn. "Finn child, it is good to see you once more. Look at your locks, so long and healthy, you look like a true farm boy don't you?"

"I am a farm father Jake" He retorted.

"Of course boy. A father of a mere plant…"

"Are you jealous Jake?"

Jake coughed and then smirked, new mucus pouring out his mouth. "Jealous of a weed? Of course not"

Finn felt a fire burn in him, he tried to contain it but allowed himself to slap Jake across the face for insulting his friend. "You're too weak to even strike me back mutt. I am a father now dog and I shall be treated like the man I am."

Jake coughed once more, this time a bit of blood came from his mouth. "You're right, I am weak. I have not eaten in days and the well at the treehouse has run dry. Yet you still find comfort and ease in striking the feeble, you're no father."

Finn looked at the shriveled pup, glaring at him, wondering what to do. He propped his hand against the wall and peered down at his old friend, their eyes not meeting yet Finn still staring at his head.

"Would you like me to show you what kind of father I am?"

Jake's eyes looked up into his. "You wouldn't you boy"

Finn smiled widely. "You're right, a boy wouldn't. But a father would." Finn propped his weight on his rested arm and began to swing his leg violently into Jake, he repeated this several times without a sound, only wide eyes and with a bit lip. As he pounded Jake he heard light gasps of breath pour from the mutt's mouth, spit flying out and blood pouring.

"That'll teach you mutt. He grabbed a rake off the wall and walked out the shed. As he rounded the corner he saw two figures standing over Herbert, he raced to his friend's side only to find Bubblegum Princess and her trusty helper, Peppermint Butler, there.

"Salutations Finn! I see you have taken up the art of farming, a modest choice for a boy your age." The woman squeaked, he felt her insult in calling him a boy yet let it slide. He was still tiresome from Jake's teaching.

"Yes well we all have our callings princess, shouldn't yours be back in your cage."

The tiny butler frowned at him.

"Why I suppose it would be, although I wanted to take a walk around the outer space of the kingdom to see what my peoples are up to." She smiled awkwardly.

Finn held his arms to his side and stared down at Herbert. He spoke without looking up "Have you not seen enough or would you like to insult me some more you bubblegum beast." He spoke with malice and hatred, his mouth moving to excentrate his speech.

This time the butler spoke "Now listen here boy-"

Finn turned his head to him quickly "Know your place slave and hold the insults for those below you and your highness." The butler was taken aback and stood shocked, Finn could only chuckle.

"Finn, are you okay? You seem tense." The princess put out a hand to Finn but he only backed away.

"Finndango, these two irritate me, make them leave now"

Finn tensed up and began to swing his rake at the two. They backed away, wide eyed and surprised by his outlandishness. "Finn what are you doing?!"

"Leave you two, you only serve to postpone my work!" With one last swing he struck the butler and watched him fall to the side, the Princess took hold of him and carried him away in a hurry.

"Fools…" He said to himself quietly. He took a long deep breath and looked at them run from the farm. He had defended his child.

In the silence he heard the light pitter patter of footsteps though and once again Finn turned on his heels and looked towards Herbert.

"Finndango!" Herbert screamed.

Bmo walked up to the small plant and looked down at it, smiling and laughing playfully, he raised his foot in preparation to stomp.

Finn spun the rake and jabbed it in one blinding motion and skewered the robotic boy. Bmo's yelps could be heard loudly in his ears.

"How dare you child!" He lifted the boy up high and looked him in his electronic eyes. In those eyes he saw true fear, a fear a farmer like Finn could live off of. "You leave now or you'll end up in this soil." Bmo fell to the ground and, in a hurry, lifted himself up and wobbled away. What a fool, he could have harmed Herbert.

Once again Finn sighed in relief. He looked back to his friend hoping to find him peacefully sound and ready for combing but was utterly shocked. He watched as Jake slurped up Herbert in one motion and swallowed him whole, only to fall flat on his stomach in defeat.

Finn fell to his knees. "How could you Jake, that was my child…"

Jake laughed a muffled laugh and then spoke, "Your child tasted terrible."

Finn chuckled at this. Jake was right, Finn wasn't cut out for the farming life.


End file.
